INSTALLING A HUSBAND Dear Tech Support, Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.. In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as NBA 5..0, NFL 3.0 and Golf Clubs 4.1. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail. What can I do? Signed, Desperate. DEAR DESPERATE, First, keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system. Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme.html, try to download Tears 6.2, and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If those applications work as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applicationsJewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5. However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer 6.1. Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Farting and Snoring Loudly Beta. Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.) In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0-program. This is an unsupported application and will crash Husband 1.0. In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly.. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend Cooking 3.0 and Hot Lingerie 7.7. Good Luck! Tech Support |
Saturday, January 30, 2010
Installing a Husband...
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Have You?
40 Evidences That You May Have Left Your First Love ....
1. You can go hours or days without having more than a passing thought of Him.
2. You don’t have a strong desire to spend time with Him.
3. You don’t have a strong hunger for the Word; Bible reading is a “chore” – something to
mark off your “to do” list.
4. Spending time in prayer is a burden/duty rather than a delight.
5. Your worship is formal, dry, lifeless, merely going through the motions.
6. Private prayer and worship are almost non-existent . . . cold and dry.
7. You are more concerned about physical health, well-being, and comfort than about the well-
being and condition of your soul.
8. You crave physical food, while having little appetite for spiritual food.
9. You crave human companionship more than a relationship with Christ.
10. You spend more time and effort on your physical appearance than on cultivating inner
spiritual beauty to please Christ.
11. Your heart toward Christ is cold and indifferent; not tender as it once was, not easily moved
by the Word, talk of spiritual things, etc.
12. Christianity is more of a checklist than a relationship with Christ.
13. You measure spirituality (yours/others’) by performance rather than the condition of the
heart.
14. Christianity is defined more what by what you “do” than who you “are” (“doing” vs.
“being”).
15. Your obedience and service are motivated and fueled by expectations of others or a desire to
impress others, more than by passion for Christ.
16. You are more concerned about what others think and pleasing them, than about what God
knows and pleasing Christ.
17. Your service for Christ and others is motivated by a sense of duty or obligation.
18. You find yourself becoming resentful over the hardships and demands of serving Christ and
others.
19. You can talk with others about kids, marriage, weather, and the news, but struggle to talk
about the Lord and spiritual matters.
20. You have a hard time coming up with something fresh to share in a testimony service at
church or when someone asks, “What’s God been doing in your life?”
21. You are formal, rigid, and up-tight about spiritual things, rather than joyful and winsome.
22. You are critical or harsh toward those who are doctrinally off-base or living in sin.
23. You enjoy secular songs, movies, and books more than songs or reading material that point
you to Christ.
24. You prefer the company of people who don’t love Christ, to the company and fellowship of
those who do.
25. You are more interested in recreation, entertainment, and having “fun” than in cultivating
intimacy with Christ through worship, prayer, the Word, and Christian fellowship.
26. You display attitudes or are involved in activities that you know are contrary to Scripture, but you continue in them anyway.
27. You justify “small” areas of disobedience or compromise.
28. You have been drawn back into sin habits that you put off when you were a young believer.
29. “Little” things that used to disturb your conscience, no longer do.
30. You are slow to respond to conviction over sin – or you ignore it altogether.
31. You enjoy certain sins and want to hang onto them. You are unwilling to give them up for
Christ.
32. You are not grieved by sin – it’s no big deal to you.
33. You are consistently allured by certain sins.
34. You are self-righteous--more concerned about sin in others’ lives than in your own.
35. You are more concerned about having the right position than the right disposition.
36. You tend to hold tightly to money and things, rather than being quick to give to meet the
needs of others.
37. You rarely give sacrificially to the Lord’s work.
38. You rarely have a desire or burden to give, when you hear of legitimate financial needs
within the Body, your church, or a ministry.
39. Accumulating and maintaining material “things” consumes more time and effort on your part than seeking after and cultivating spiritual riches.
40. You have broken relationships with other believers that you are unwilling or have not
attempted to reconcile.
Revelation 2:1-7
1
"To the angel of the church in Ephesus write: 'The words of him who holds the
seven stars in his right hand, who walks among the seven golden lampstands.
2
"'I know your works, your toil and your patient endurance, and how you cannot
bear with those who are evil, but have tested those who call themselves apostles
and are not, and found them to be false.
3
I know you are enduring patiently and
bearing up for my name’s sake, and you have not grown weary.
4
But I have this against you, that you have abandoned the love you had at first.
5
Remember therefore from where you have fallen; repent, and do the works you
did at first. If not, I will come to you and remove your lampstand from its place,
unless you repent. . . .
7
He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches. To the one
who conquers I will grant to eat of the tree of life, which is in the paradise of
God.'
1. You can go hours or days without having more than a passing thought of Him.
2. You don’t have a strong desire to spend time with Him.
3. You don’t have a strong hunger for the Word; Bible reading is a “chore” – something to
mark off your “to do” list.
4. Spending time in prayer is a burden/duty rather than a delight.
5. Your worship is formal, dry, lifeless, merely going through the motions.
6. Private prayer and worship are almost non-existent . . . cold and dry.
7. You are more concerned about physical health, well-being, and comfort than about the well-
being and condition of your soul.
8. You crave physical food, while having little appetite for spiritual food.
9. You crave human companionship more than a relationship with Christ.
10. You spend more time and effort on your physical appearance than on cultivating inner
spiritual beauty to please Christ.
11. Your heart toward Christ is cold and indifferent; not tender as it once was, not easily moved
by the Word, talk of spiritual things, etc.
12. Christianity is more of a checklist than a relationship with Christ.
13. You measure spirituality (yours/others’) by performance rather than the condition of the
heart.
14. Christianity is defined more what by what you “do” than who you “are” (“doing” vs.
“being”).
15. Your obedience and service are motivated and fueled by expectations of others or a desire to
impress others, more than by passion for Christ.
16. You are more concerned about what others think and pleasing them, than about what God
knows and pleasing Christ.
17. Your service for Christ and others is motivated by a sense of duty or obligation.
18. You find yourself becoming resentful over the hardships and demands of serving Christ and
others.
19. You can talk with others about kids, marriage, weather, and the news, but struggle to talk
about the Lord and spiritual matters.
20. You have a hard time coming up with something fresh to share in a testimony service at
church or when someone asks, “What’s God been doing in your life?”
21. You are formal, rigid, and up-tight about spiritual things, rather than joyful and winsome.
22. You are critical or harsh toward those who are doctrinally off-base or living in sin.
23. You enjoy secular songs, movies, and books more than songs or reading material that point
you to Christ.
24. You prefer the company of people who don’t love Christ, to the company and fellowship of
those who do.
25. You are more interested in recreation, entertainment, and having “fun” than in cultivating
intimacy with Christ through worship, prayer, the Word, and Christian fellowship.
26. You display attitudes or are involved in activities that you know are contrary to Scripture, but you continue in them anyway.
27. You justify “small” areas of disobedience or compromise.
28. You have been drawn back into sin habits that you put off when you were a young believer.
29. “Little” things that used to disturb your conscience, no longer do.
30. You are slow to respond to conviction over sin – or you ignore it altogether.
31. You enjoy certain sins and want to hang onto them. You are unwilling to give them up for
Christ.
32. You are not grieved by sin – it’s no big deal to you.
33. You are consistently allured by certain sins.
34. You are self-righteous--more concerned about sin in others’ lives than in your own.
35. You are more concerned about having the right position than the right disposition.
36. You tend to hold tightly to money and things, rather than being quick to give to meet the
needs of others.
37. You rarely give sacrificially to the Lord’s work.
38. You rarely have a desire or burden to give, when you hear of legitimate financial needs
within the Body, your church, or a ministry.
39. Accumulating and maintaining material “things” consumes more time and effort on your part than seeking after and cultivating spiritual riches.
40. You have broken relationships with other believers that you are unwilling or have not
attempted to reconcile.
Revelation 2:1-7
1
"To the angel of the church in Ephesus write: 'The words of him who holds the
seven stars in his right hand, who walks among the seven golden lampstands.
2
"'I know your works, your toil and your patient endurance, and how you cannot
bear with those who are evil, but have tested those who call themselves apostles
and are not, and found them to be false.
3
I know you are enduring patiently and
bearing up for my name’s sake, and you have not grown weary.
4
But I have this against you, that you have abandoned the love you had at first.
5
Remember therefore from where you have fallen; repent, and do the works you
did at first. If not, I will come to you and remove your lampstand from its place,
unless you repent. . . .
7
He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches. To the one
who conquers I will grant to eat of the tree of life, which is in the paradise of
God.'
Monday, December 14, 2009
Happy 1st Birthday Asher!!
Hope you have a fun filled first birthday big boy! Eat lots of cake for us!
Love,
Tod, Tarin, Damon, Toriana, Truen, and Graysen =)
Love,
Tod, Tarin, Damon, Toriana, Truen, and Graysen =)
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
Monday, November 23, 2009
For Maaca and Lynnea....
Here are some videos for you! We love you and we miss you! Truen was still sleeping, but he will have a message for you little later today!
(For the rest of you out there watching, I realize that Graysen didn't want to show you how big he is, I just thought that if I kept on saying it, he might catch on! I realize now how repetitive I sound! Pour kid!)
(For the rest of you out there watching, I realize that Graysen didn't want to show you how big he is, I just thought that if I kept on saying it, he might catch on! I realize now how repetitive I sound! Pour kid!)
Saturday, November 14, 2009
Thursday, November 12, 2009
The Band....
This Halloween the kids were very excited to be Rockers!
Damon and Truen were are the bands guitar players,
Toriana is the lead singer, and Graysen, well I guess he would be the
back up singer!=) On our way to Hot Springs we stopped for
a little photo shoot for the cover of their new "CD"! We had fun!
We also stopped at some road construction for some pix, and
G-ma LeBar's for some coloring and candy!
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